Dienstag, 26. März 2013

Maybe not the right thing...

 Hello there,

As promised, I'm going to show you the pics of the latest events here in germany <3

Also, these events made me notice something... but I'm gonna tell you at the end of this Blog (:

The first thing happening was me getting a cold T_T" and for a week or so I couldn't do much but laze around on my sofa and...dying a little bit :'D

Then, last weekend started with the Book fair in Leipzig. We just went there by train with some friends

It was the first time I wanted to wear my COMPLETE sweet Lolita Outfit ^^ Here are the shots:

My cutie pie Marie <3 <3 <3 <3 c:

 This is one of the very rare moments I'm not wearing a wig. What makes it even weird, coz I planned to wear one, but since I couldn't find my own one and a friend of mine forgot to bring her own for me, I had no other choice ^^"
But it wasn't that much of a drama, since the color was kinda 'fitting' at least a bit this time.

I also got filmed ^^ just a small private video by another great lolita, but it's funny seeing me there in the "intro" for a few seconds. But it's a nice summary of the whole book fair and it's great Lolitas and Cosplayers! ^-^
You can see me around 00:50 seconds or so xD

Click: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SAkW4mDGJQ

 Just a week later there was the 'Märchen Tea party' in Berlin. Well, at least it looked kinda nice...

 I almost wore the same coord like at the book fair, but I wore the pink BTSSB dress of a friend. But to be honest, I wasn't in the mood for photos of myself.

You know, I'm not a Lolita for long and sometimes, now and again, I was always wondering if Lolita is actually the 'right' scene for me. But finding new lovely dresses made me block that question out all the time.
So, while I was waiting for my tea, tasting some cake (it was delicious!!) and some really wonderful looking Lolitas surrounded me, the question came up again.
After an half hour I was horrible bored.. and I mean REALLY bored, and after 2 hours I was so bored that it kinda pissed me off.
I mean... really? Sitting in a café for 2 hours and waiting for the next 4 hours, drinking tea and eating cake? That's all ? I expected me doing this when I'm a grandma with my ass-boring-grandma friends around me in 60 years, but I'm iny 20's, what the flying F*ck am I doing here?
Two hours. Two hours I could have spending drawing for my next exhibition, or learning surf-riding, or bake a f*cking awesome cake myself with my f*cking awesome friends, or apply for making a diver's liscence. But no. I'm drinking tea. In a ridiculous expensive dress. Watching a "living doll" dancer next to me doing the 'robo dance', but it's actually No damn robo-dance, no, it's supposed to look like a marionette doing the robo dance dancing like on strings or something... oh holy shit.
Never mind, I left after 2 hours and was happy as f*ck.

I'm not saying the tea party was a bad thing, but it made me just realize... maybe Lolita is not that what makes me happy. I mean truly happy.
Lolita made me met the most horrible and wrong persons of my life. Lolita made me spend money on things I rather 'need' to look 'right' - instead of things I enjoy.
Of course I was happy to get a dress, I was happy when the milky-chan bag arrived, and WOW I was happy when I finally got my BTSSB umbrella. But I'm wondering if all that was just another pathetic attempt to find myself. Or maybe just finding some friends in a City which was completely foreign to me when I moved here.
And yeah.. it kinda MADE me find another piece of myself, coz I realized a little bit more what makes me truly happy.

I'm not a doll. I don't want to make sure that not the tiniest spot comes on my dress. Damn, I'm someone who's eating with it hands, someone who's used to wear clothes at home which are FULL of acrylic/oil colors, someone who's spending hours and hours playing and ranting with my friend's dogs.

...Oh, dogs!


I will spend my money on something I love and what makes me happy. I grew up with dogs and I decieded to get one again.

Say Hello to Trixie ^_^

 I saved her from the animal shelter... she's such a cute little princess. She's so full of love and happiness!
This is what makes me happy so bad... for example. ^^

What also makes me happy is to travel. Maybe I can combine those things. This year I want to fly to MALTA with my BF, maybe I can take Trixie with me.
Playing with my dream dog on the beach... wow... that'll be worth every fucking cent <3<3<3<3

Maybe we have to look a little bit closer on things we believe to like. Maybe there are things we like even more and make us even happier. I'm sure there are many girls who truly love being lolita, sure! Everyone is on it's own way to find it's luck ^u^

I want to surround myself with people I love and that love me back. With things I enjoy without the slightest doubt. And one day I'll be completely surrounded by things that make me happy as F*ck only!!! XDDDD


Don't worry, I'm not going to stop wearing Lolita. There are still some coords on it's way I ordered some weeks ago. But I think I won't buy any more stuff for the next time. Still there's the cherry blossom festival next month and the japan day in may, where I will appear in Lolita. And still I DO have some awesome Lolita friends I don't want to dissappoint that much.

BUT... after this I will more concentrate on COSPLAY again ^^ where I never met any assholes... but a bunch of true friends <3


I hope I didn't bored you too much with this XD

 Jen <3


  1. Das tut mir Leid, dass du so schlechte Erfahrungen mit Lolita hast. :(
    Ich find vor allem arg, dass die Tea Party so langweilig war, gab's denn keine Gesprächsthemen? O.o
    Das Outfit steht dir nämlich richtig gut! Mir gefällt vor allem der Haarschmuck! ^v^

    1. Leider sind 90% aller meiner Lolita Erfahrungen eher schlechte gewesen ^^' Aber warum auch an etwas festhalten was einem nicht sonderlich gut tut?
      Naja also wir saßen da und...nö, wir waren eigentlich nur gleichermaßen gelangweilt und haben spekuliert wann wir am besten abhauen xD"

  2. Hm~ in Lolita ist es wie überall...es gibt nicht nur nette Menschen, mit denen man sich versteht...hab die Erfahrung auch schon machen müssen aber ich hab dadurch auch einige meiner besten Freunde kennengelernt :) Aber die nehmen mich auch ohne Lolita ;)

    Langeweile auf Teaparties...irgendwie kann ich auch das verstehen...wenn das Einzige was einen verbindet schöne Kleider sind und man sonst nix zu reden hat, ist das natürlich schwierig x.X

    Naja~ ich freue mich auf jeden Fall auf deine nächsten Coords :) Und hoffentlich viele Bilder von deiner süßen Trixie <3

    1. Ja klar, will jetzt auch garnicht die ganze Szene über einen Kamm scheren. Hab einfach nicht schöne Erfahrungen gemacht, aber das ist ja auch bei jeden anders ^^

      Werd aber sicher hier und da auf diversen Events mal als Lolita rumlaufen ^u^
      Danke für den Kommi :*

  3. Well, it's about balance, isn't it like ... always? When I was 23 (in the middle ages) I liked going to comic book and roleplaying conventions a lot. It wasn't a waste of time, but it wasn't what made my life meaningful 10 years later, either. It was an experience I wanted to have a lot of at the time, in my life. I think it's gonna be the same for you. When you feel it is time you move on to something more of something new.

    I am definitely not worried that you will end up as a Lolita-dressed-grandma ... :-)

  4. Das Outfit von der Leipziger Buchmesse steht dir wirklich super und deine Haare passen perfekt dazu! ( ^ω^ )
    Ach wenn es dir super steht, solltest du auf jeden Fall das tragen, worin du dich am wohlsten fühlst. Man lebt nur einmal und wenn nicht zufrieden dann ist das schade. (^_^*)
    Schöne Fotos~ LG

    1. Das hast du schön gesagt ^^ Und recht hast du!
      Danke für den lieben Kommi ^.^ <3