Mittwoch, 29. April 2015

New Tattoo, A Haunted Doll, Shootings, Lolita and more

Good day people, I hope you're doing great <3

I will just share some current thoughts and news you might like to read.

First of all - I finally have my new Tat *3*


Yes, this actually has a lot of meaning to me.

You ask why? Okay, so I try to write down my thoughts on this, regardsless my shitty english skills.

As some of you can guess, yeah, it's partly linked to my MS diagnosis.
See, when I got diagnosed with MS, I was right in my A-levels (general qualification for university entrance in germany), so as you might can imagine, I had quite a struggle finishing them beside often being in hospital and missing schooldays because I felt like shit from the new medication.
Since I got diagnosed, literally everyone was like "stop with school, it's too much of a struggle for you" and later it went further to "Oh no, you're not allowed to do this and that, you're not allowed to travel to hot lands, you're actually not allowed to travel at all!"
Even when I don't have a doubt that they had good intentions and they were all worried - I hated it. People treated me like a dying person, unable to handle my own life. No one believed in me and actually, to pity me was no way of comfort.
At the one hand I was grateful that people actually cared about my well-being, but at the other hand it made me depressive that people handled me like life was over for me. Like a nursing case. All chances gone. You're ill, you're weak - now give up on all your plans.


No.
I was hungry for more.
I was starving for self-fullfilment.
I wanted to run away from all of this, run away from my fate, from people telling me how to live with this Illness.
So I DID my A-levels and I fucking passed them.
Do I DID a lot of travel, like going to school to Japan, going to live in New Zealand, France, the Netherlands....
It was me who got ill, and it will be me who has to decide HOW to handle that.
And I chose to be free.
Free as starving wolves.



I don't know how much sense that makes for you, but it makes a lot of sense to me.
However, I really wanted this tattoo to remember myself that only myself is in charge to live the life I want to. Me myself will decide how to deal with my fate. I am free.



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A haunted haunted haunted doll.


Soooo... don't say a fucking word, but I actually ordered (ordered?) a believed to be haunted doll. No, it's NOT from ebay, where people sell like EVERY shitty thing as "haunted".

However, even though I am not even sure if I actually believe in haunted things in the first place, I contacted someone who is specialized on this kind of thing.
If people think they have haunted or possessed items in their house, they will call that person to remove those things from their home.
After that - people can get in contact with that person and decide if they want to take the risk of getting this thing.

You'll have to fill a few forms, to check if you're suitable (yes, not everyone can order anything there), if you are, you'll get something.


So, soon I'll get THIS doll:




Looks freaking cute, aye?

When I think about haunted dolls, I immediately think about really old fucked up dolls that look hidious.

So the story goes like this: It is believed that this doll was owned by a young girl around 1930, she died from something chest-related (maybe asthma? It's not known) when she was 11.
Ever since there are weird things going on with this doll, so people wanted to get rid of her.
People think the spirit of the girl went into her doll to remain a part of the world of the living.

Because they do not want much money (just for shipping~), I accepted to take her.

As I said, I am not sure if stuff like that exists - but even when there's no spirit living inside, I always wanted a cute vintage doll. So whatever.








She's adorableeeeee <3

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A..haha... you remember the Lolita Valentines meet-up a while ago?

I'd like to add this shot xD



See my derpy look? Yeah... I can tell you exactley what I thought:
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THAT MUCH HOLY SHIT PEOPLE MUST THINK I'M A FUCKING GLUTTON WTF"

Hilarious.

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And I shooted a little~ <3






Everything else you can always find the newest of the news on my facebook page.


Have a good one!
Jen